The best feeling ever is to help someone out who is also struggling with the same thing as me.
So I have my dermatologist appointment tomorrow and I am not looking forward to it at all. 1. I have to walk outside in the cold weather and I am sick. 2. Whatever it is that I am sick with, I may find out whether it is strep throat or not at my appointment. 3. I hate getting my blood taken and peeing in cups. 4. I do NOT want to up my dosage because this new dose has made my hair fall out and my eyelashes too. (I kind of would like to not go bald unless I actually have cancer and need to take a chemotherapy for it).Although..my drug is actually a chemotherapy drug so I guess that was pointless to say. Lol. I miss my 30mg dosage, I still had my hair intact..which was nice.
Damnit. Thought I would be that one person without all the nasty side effects, but boy was I wrong. My skin is peeling so much that after I peel the skin off, there’s still more to go! It’s never ending. I guess I am a snake now. My eyes still have mascara debris all around them from four days ago!! Seriously? This is bullshit. I have wrinkles on top of wrinkles under my eyes and my hair thinning and falling out on my scalp and my eyelashes are dry and sparse. Accutane isn’t even doing anything for my skin except making it look dry and dull as fuck. I miss having my oily broken out face, it was actually easier to work with. Now I have to violently attack my eyeballs to even come close to removing all my makeup, I have sheets and sheets of skin peeling off every day, and I’m going bald! I sure hope things start looking up because it’s bad enough having to take this shit to fix my skin disorder, and now I am losing hair and aging faster than my time. Four more months..if I even survive much longer to see the end.
Okay, so I decided it is time to make a post about what a nuisance to me anyways, the whole “I’m a country girl, born & raised” shit is.
Lets just take a moment to have some hope for all those stupid girls who refer to themselves as “country” to get some sense knocked into their dense skulls. You are not country. Actually you’re just as bad as bible thumping preachers who annoy the shit out of me. (That is another thing I find quite annoying btw, when people are posting statuses every where on Facebook and other places with stupid Bible phrases, like thanks because you know..we’re all fucking fake God’s followers and want to see that shit. Have some common and logical sense and know that God is not physically real or real at all, and what is real is evolution which is proven by Science and not some freak in a linen robe from a fictional book made long ago proclaiming a burning pit of hell for all of us who merely say God’s name in vain “Oh my god”. Redemption time. Anyways, back to my rant about the original topic.)
Mudding/mud-bogging does not make you country it makes you a filthy person who is trying hard to make it appear to guys that you get down and dirty, going hunting or wearing camo-clothes does not make you country, it makes you look like a try hard, clearly that camo looks fucking retarded as regular wear, save it for the people who are actually supposed to be wearing it. You make people who are from the ACTUAL country ashamed to even live there from all the stereotypical and labeling type bullshit you poor excuses of women do. Most of the time “country girls” don’t even fucking know what a tractor looks like or even been near a fucking cow pie. If you have to act country to fit in with people then go get some fucking normal friends who don’t wear boots with clothes that don’t even look good together and play cheesy hick songs in their car while you’re going somewhere with them. That’s just unnecessary. And no, being country isn’t patriotic and don’t use it as another excuse to proclaim yourself as a country girl because that’s just as bad as saying,”I grew up on a farm when I was little and moved away like when I was 4 years old, so YAH I am country.” Yeah, no. Living at a farm for a few years doesn’t make you a country girl, and sure as hell doesn’t make much sense to call yourself one if you’ve never even milked a cow.
That is all.
I am sicker than I have ever been in a long time. Kill me now please. Sore throat, stuffy nose, and feeling too warm all over my body. Please don’t tell me that I have a fever. Isn’t that serious to have a fever? I can’t remember tbh because I haven’t had one in years..
Wow, I have been absent from Tumblr for so long. It’s funny how months ago my favorite hobby was re-blogging posts on here all day long, and then one event happens to make that change. My laptop screen breaks and then I figure out that it would cost 500$ to fix JUST the screen alone. Haven’t had my own laptop since! Didn’t really want to bother using Scot’s laptop because I like using my own and being able to be on it for as long as I please, but he needs to use it too so that just wouldn’t do. Hopefully I can get a laptop again soon, maybe even this year?
Anyways, I have been missing Tumblr a lot lately, I didn’t really like re-blogging posts on my iPod, and I couldn’t even see my profile layout or anything on the Safari app so I decided it was time to get back on here and see what’s up. I read a lot of my old posts and saw all my old pictures of my struggles with my skin problems and Scot. It’s quite depressing yet enlightening to see how much I have changed as a person. A year ago I had no permit, no driving experience, and no clear mind about goals and reality. I also didn’t obsess over my skin and I had other worries, different worries. I sometimes wish that I could trade my worries and struggles now for something as simple as my homework assignments and project due dates for High School classes. Clearly I know WHO has tried telling me that my problems are excuses and don’t count, but I’m not going to address who they are on here because this is merely for me. If people choose to read this then that is by their own doing. Random rant: Fuck people who think they have any right to even breathe the same air I do or have any say in how I live my life when they are overly obsessed with things pertaining to MY lifestyle and MY choices. End of rant. I guess what I’m trying to say from all of this is that some people just shouldn’t be allowed to live. Oh, and that I have changed a lot as well and that I feel indifferent about it.
Here’s to posting on Tumblr again with rants and what not. (;
Okay so I know I haven’t tumbled much lately, so here’s a post. I’ve changed my whole diet around since three days ago. I am not eating any refined sugars, soy, wheat, rye, dairy, red meat, salty/sweet/spicy foods, and have been ignoring any and all inflammation causing foods. My diet consists of grapes, blueberries, blackberries, brown rice, broccoli, spinach, bok choy, chard, apples, pears, a lot of water, green tea, cranberry juice, prune juice, green split peas, lentils, pinto beans, black beans, kidney beans, fish oil and flaxseed supplement, multivitamin, antihistamines, calcium supplement, and I think that’s it. And the only acne I’m experiencing are the acne I get from laying on my face at night and I haven’t gotten any weird or random new ones yet! I still have active acne from before my new diet, but at least if this diet doesn’t help my skin..then I’ll at least be healthy on the inside. So I’m feeling pretty great about my new diet. I don’t feel guilty or worried about what I eat anymore and I feel revitalized. It’s hard to think that I have gone three days without dairy, I’ve always had dairy once a day.
Of course ill eat dairy sometimes but I’m not going to incorporate it into my daily diet because that is so unhealthy. Plus dairy isn’t very natural it all has to be processed to even taste good and has hormones and shit in it. I get that it comes from a cow but I’ve done my research and of it wasn’t consumed in the Paleolithic age then I’m not eating that shit every day lol. Anyways..today I’m going to get ready to go to Skyfall with Scot and then go to Walmart and get some red wine. It’s good for ya :D 1 cup a day the doctors say. Anywho…going to make some food and hang with my girl Kristin on xbl. Later. (:
Man I am so hormonal right after and right before my period, and it doesn’t help that I am breaking out really bad. Just started getting a bad cyst on the side of my eye and its yapping on the other eye too. I don’t get why I’m getting cysts there, but its really pissing me off and making me look like a mutant. It’s so unflattering and it hurts..I just want those cysts to go away. I’ve been really down the past few days and Its hard to be happy about something that makes me look like shit and feels like shit. Whatever. I need to not think about it and just occupy myself with things that aren’t upsetting me. Going to play happy wars on xbl, that’ll probably just make me rage more but oh well.
Lmao look at the last comment. It’s a pic that Kim kardashian uploaded to Instagram. In shitting my pants right now.
What I should be expecting to see in the mail this week.. :)
New Ipod Gen 5 White With This Case :)
i’ve had 3 alcoholic drinks today..i am trying to get drunk because im severly depressed. i would say why im depressed but im sure eventually itll blow over and ill regret posting about it. just thought i’d tell you guys what’s up with me at the moment, hope everyone else is happy and SOBER. lol.
OH! Another thing…I bought my own shoes with the money my grandma left me for my inheritance, and bought these 139 $ shoes for walking/running/etc! These are the first shoes I’ve ever picked out that I like..which are bought by me! SO EXCITED. They’re coming here in like 3-5 days! And an update on my drinking..lol, I haven’t had anything to eat so I’m already kind of tanked from my first two drinks..lol, I should probably eat..but I’m enjoying it too much. XD
Here are the shoes I bought!!!!